Alchemy All Around

Have you ever noticed that words have a way of following you sometimes? I suppose it should come as no surprise that the words "alchemy" and "alignment" seem to pop up wherever I go, and have for the last month. Yes, the act of getting braces is a transformative experience that seeks to align one quite literally from the top down. A lofty ambition for oneself, but that's little consolation when I spent all day today dreaming about the biggest burger I could create in my head--and the biggest bite I could take. (So much for my vegetarian status for the last 2 years.) A lamburger: Brioche bun, ground lamb, fresh tomatoes, dilled pickles, a bit of lettuce, maybe a little red pepper catsup and some Israeli amba too. (That's pickled mango sauce, folks and it's damn good.)

Is this my alchemy? Is this how I'm transforming? When pushed to the brink, the first place I turn is the burger? The mother's milk of the Average American? Not nearly as lofty as I'd hoped. The New York Times says potbellies are in, so as soon as I get off this liquid diet and indulge in burgers of all stripes, we can all concentrate on my belly and not my teeth, right? Problems solved!

In July I went on a yoga retreat at the wonderful Kripalu in Lennox, MA, and the entire theme of the retreat was alchemy and alignment. Little did I know how much those words would follow me, in the weeks since, how they would come to land like angels on my shoulders and how I would come to physically embody them. The lovely Elena Brower taught me how to stand properly for the first time in my life--to literally let the tips of the ribs scoop up inside the chest to support the heart as the shoulders relax themselves down to create space in the body. I realize that one step beyond this is exactly what I have done by getting braces--to create the space for alchemy and alignment to occur in a part of my body without muscle, without a conduit between brain and willed movement. I never thought that braces could be yogic, but perhaps they are. Anything that allows us to shift from where we are, to the place we need to be is really all anyone ever wants, right?

Hmmm. Feeling a little better about this.

But I still crave the burger. And the ability to chew it.

I've Gone and Done It Now

I realize I should have started this blog a few weeks ago, as a service to other adults with braces, but my boyfriend and I broke up, and really, that took precedence. Suffice it to say, that this is day three with the braces actually on my teeth and I'm beginning to wonder what the hell I was thinking. Yes, it was this or jaw surgery. Yes, I realize now that I was convincing my friends that I simply liked pureed soups and smoothies, and enjoyed being a vegetarian when really it was more problematic than I thought to simply chew a steak. (Think of kids who say they hate reading, when really they just can't see.)

So here I am now, 36, newly single and with braces. Which I'm supposed to wear for the next 2 years. Let the schadenfreude begin.

I think I've started this blog to relieve my friends from having to listen to me share the inevitable icky feelings that accompany something like this. They've been nothing but wonderful and supportive, but I can't wear out my welcome, since I've already tapped into them about the aforementioned breakup. I've been called "radiant" with braces (that one was pure altruism), "blinged out" (I believe that more) and the acceptable "not that bad." I went to work for the first time today, and was a bit concerned about how the braces would be received, since I work in communications and I'm having a bit of trouble speaking (not much, but enough to be aware.) A coworker kept putting his hand over his own mouth while he spoke to me and asking me if the braces hurt. Not the most encouraging sign.

I have been putting off braces for years because my former employer did not grant dental insurance, so my teeth have gone a bit out of control. I met with four orthodontists, one of whom wanted to break my jaw and reset it. (Needless to say, I decided to pass him by.) My current orthodontist said to me "I've seen a lot of teeth in 20 years, and you--are interesting. My dentist used to look at my xrays like they were porn.

Eating has always been my true passion--my great sensual joy. I could tell you where to get the best of everything in NYC. If I read about it, I went and ate it. I love food writers, but I loved forming my own opinion more. To me, they're merely culinary cartographers, charting the city for me, but I get the satisfaction of putting my own red pins on the map. When my friends came in from out-of-town, I had lists of places where we needed to go to try the best pizza (DiFara's), the best mint chocolate chip ice cream (The Chocolate Room). The best grown up cocktails and trout deviled eggs (Pegu Club).

Now, it's so uncomfortable to chew, and chewing anything takes an hour. I feel like I look like a horse gnawing on apples when eat, so I'm sticking to mushy foods, certainly in public. It's 93 degrees and I'm eating egg drop soup from the local Chinese joint because it's just easier. Everyone keeps telling me that this will change, but we shall see. Maybe that's what the blog is for--to chart the changes and shifts in my thinking about this, as my teeth do their own platetectonics.

I will say that I've found some fabulous recipes online that ease the transition. I like recipes that are quick, quick, quick. Forget Rachel Ray--30 minutes is way too long for me to wait after work. I'm going to post them in the blog--so if you have to be on a liquid diet for any sort of reason, I hope you enjoy these. Regardless of whether or not I had a goth party in my mouth, this is a great summertime recipe--Avocado Cucumber Gazpacho. I got this one from elanaspantry.com, which is lovely, and I wish I could continue making her recipes, but at least I can keep this one:

http://www.elanaspantry.com/cucumber-avocado-gazpacho/

If you've got braces and you're an adult, give a shout out. I know there are lots of us, and I'll post all the things that I find I really enjoy eating lately. I hope you will too. (Even if you don't have braces!)