Catching Up

It has been a shamefully long time since I've posted, but things have been both so busy that I haven't had a moment to write. I spent a fantastic long weekend in North Carolina visiting my dear friend Emma. It was so cozy in the wonderful home that she built with her husband. She was preparing for an open house studio tour which is taking place this weekend and next weekend, so her walls were filled with her phenomenal drawings. I am always left breathless by Emma's artwork, not only because it's so very good, but because her home seems to be made to house it. I always want to purchase pieces from here when I'm there (which I did, and you can too, here) because I want to take a little piece of that perfect fitting together puzzle back to Brooklyn with me. But somehow, as lovely as they are on my walls, they do not have the same the same cohesiveness here as they do in Emma's handmade home, with the North Carolina sun streaming through her many windows, and her glorious garden just outside. But when I look at the print I chose, of a deer with morning glories and birds taking refuge in the deer's antlers, I think of her, and the many mugs of coffee (laced with eggnog during this last visit) and tea, and the dishes of homemade coconut lime ice cream and that we savored and her art is infused with those memories. (Thank you Miss Emma, for more than you know.)

I got my braces tightened right after that weekend and I think my ortho took pity on me because he didn't tighten it too much, which would allow for Thanksgiving gorging two days later. I make a new kind of pumpkin soup every year ( Shiitake Pumpkin Soup, drizzled with sesame oil was on the menu this time) and I live to hear my brother say, every year, "This is the best soup you ever made!" We had a huge feast and spending time with my nieces and nephew makes ever so thankful. (But of course!)

I met my friend Louise at Sala 19 earlier this week and had bread that was crustier than I should have attempted. Popped a bracket off and had to go back to the ortho to have it removed. He did not replace it, but I'm seeing him in another 2 weeks, so I'll take a harder line with him then.

Maybe I didn't push harder to have the bracket replaced because I'm tired of being in braces, and even if they pop off one by one then it feels in some way like a victory. I am no longer battling against it the way I've been for the last year, but just done with the process and ready for it to be over. I've likened this whole experience to being pregnant before and I feel like I'm in my last trimester, ready to move on to the next phase, and ready for the birth of the new me to finally occur. I'm "nesting" in a way, trying to prepare the rest of my body for the debutante ball which will happen when the braces are removed. I've been good about running and can go a full two miles without stopping. I feel so incredibly invincible when I run--that everything, everything, everything is possible. And I want the rest of me to feel that way too.

I realize that the readiness for this process to be over is just as important as the rebellion against the teeth. I've started focusing on images from magazines of people smiling with their wide open, toothy grins, and instead of wanting what they have and being angry that I am shackled rather than liberated, I am simply letting them smile at me.

Kinda reminds me of Ricardo Montalban on Fantasy Island (which I will admit, was one of my favorite shows as a child): "Smiles, everyone, Smiles!"

Yeah, boss!