Hello

“Quietly go to work on your own self-awareness. If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation." --Lao Tsu, Hua Hu Ching

Well dang. If that's the case, having braces is something near to angelic, and instead of brushing my teeth I should be shining my halo. I'm being facetious here because I'm not feeling anywhere near the seraphim lately. I start off on a good path and then find myself taking the easy road, when taking the more involved road is tiring but more satisfying. This is getting proven to me time and time again, in small ways, and yet I still insist on having that free bagel when it's offered, that extra cup of coffee with cream, and tell myself "manana, manana" when I think about my yoga practice or running in the park. My body is so soft, my anger is so easily roused, and the zen that I once prized in myself is seeping out of me. The shameful part is that I've willingly let it happen. I have blamed the braces, but that's also the easy road. It's not these bits of metal in my mouth, it's something else.

I want to catch myself like Holden Caufield catching little ones in the rye, and eliminate all that is dark and negative in myself. It's done with ample sleep and green vegetables, and yoga. It's done with dance parties and exotic travel and moments of silence. I have not done any of these things in a long time.

I found myself trying to make friends with my teeth last night. I was consciously thanking each tooth for all of the incredibly hard work each molar, each canine has done over the last two and a quarter years. I actually felt each tooth throb in each root as if to say, "You talkin' to us? Fo' reals? It's about damn time you said hello!"

Perhaps that's all it takes for the real transformation to begin...