Spring is a tough season. Everything feels like it's at sixes and sevens and this year I've been feeling downright dreamy. Perhaps it's because we really didn't have a winter coupled with the fact that it's going to be 80 degrees tomorrow that is allowing the forces that be to have their way with us. I find that I am overwhelmingly and irrationally upset at the things I know I cannot have. The view from my apartment on Chestnut Street in Binghamton. My grandmother's school ring from 1919, long ago lost. A conversation with a former boyfriend.
I read this a few days ago:
"A Course in Miracles teaches 'Your passage through time and space is not at random. You cannot but be in the right place at the right time.' You are not lost. You are not abandoned. You can abandon yourself and feel abandoned. But you will always find your way-- when you find your way back to simply accepting yourself without judgment and following your natural desires. You have your desires for a reason. " --Tama Kieves
I went to my orthodontist yesterday and he put on thicker wires ("fast wires" as he called them.) They hurt almost instantly. I asked him how much longer he thinks this will take and he said, "We're really at the end here, maybe another month or two." You'll forgive me if I don't believe him. He's said similar things before, and his sense of time is unreliable. Remember, we're now 7 months past the original date that was promised.
I'm really very zen here. I've decided somewhere solid inside of me that they will be off by July. It's a worthy experiment to see if that becomes true. I just can't let this rule me anymore. I've said that before, but for the first time, I think I mean it. Maybe it's the dreamy nature of Spring, but something else has a hold on me.
Dictionary.com's word of the day was "profluence" which means "flowing smoothly or abundantly forth."
Sounds like a good Springtime mantra to me.
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