Be, Do, Have

I went on a blind date recently, and had the opportunity to talk with my suitor on the phone before we met. He was bravely guarded about his past divorces, and I was bravely guarded about the braces. I told him, in the spirit of full disclosure what to expect when I smiled. He said, "Of all that could have followed the phrase 'in the spirit of full disclosure,' braces are pretty minor." It was of course, the right answer, and one that shouldn't have surprised me, but kinda did. I'm not entirely certain what I thought he was going to respond, but that was our survey's #1 answer.

Now, the date wasn't all that, but it wasn't because he was twice divorced, or because I had braces. That realization provided a very slight, very lovely paradigm shift for me. We all hold these secret reasons why we can't do, or have, or be the things that we want to do, or have or be. The great irony is, no one knows these little secrets except us, so they're entirely unreal--just these extravagant stories we create to hold ourselves back and hold ourselves up. Usually Jesse James-like, at gunpoint.

There is this great New Yorker cartoon that my mom showed me when I was a teenager--it was the image of a man tightly grasping prison bars in front of his face, with a very sad, defeated look. But there was no jail surrounding him, just the bars in front of his face, which he held so tightly. Illustrates what I'm talking about here.

Now that I've got the bars firmly on my teeth, I think I'll let go of the proverbial or metaphorical ones, and just do, and have and be absolutely everything--not only in spite of the braces, but maybe even because of them.

Cue sweeping epic movie soundtrack!