Cotton Mouth

Two whole years.

Over 730 days.

I told my ortho that it was our two year anniversary. He looked at my chart. "So it is, " he said. "Did you buy me flowers?" he asked, laughing. I made a charming remark, but what I was really thinking was, "You should be buying me flowers, Mister!" For the first time in two years, he was unhappy when he examined me. He said that since my last session there had been no movement in the back tooth he's been trying to turn 90 degrees. (He has been trying to turn it for the last six months.) His theory was that the wire had "slipped out." I knew it hadn't. I had a feeling that there was something wrong when one of his assistants did my adjustments last month. It didn't feel right, and I had terrible headaches--skull aches in fact--this past month. Another month wasted.

This would turn out to be my most dramatic session with him yet. It took him quite some time and elbow grease to force the wire into the molar tube which made me understand firsthand that song "Be a Dentist" from Little Shop of Horrors. Despite this, for the second month in a row he insisted that we are in the home stretch. I would like to believe him, but I don't see how he is going to accomplish everything he wants to accomplish in the next six months. Heck, that back tooth has only turned 45 degrees in since February...I think he upped the ante on it to make up for that lost month because it hurts tremendously, and I can feel the tooth turning. It's also affecting the tooth next to it and it all feels completely out of whack. I understand the adage that things sometimes get worse before they get better. I can't help but wonder how much worse, and for how long.

The traditional two-year anniversary gift is cotton. I want to be swathed in fine cotton sheets, thick cotton towels, even wrapped like a present in a cotton sari. I want to have softness all around me until it muffles out every instance of discomfort and leaves me as refreshed as a good night's sleep on those fine cotton sheets, and as certain as a Maharani in full regalia.