Happy New Year

God and I have a little agreement.

I consecrate and keep Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year and in return s/he blesses me with a good year--one that is filled with both triumphs to revel in and failures to learn from. Joys, and friends, travels and time to reflect upon it all. Cupcakes too.

I learned the hard way, that this was our agreement. The one year I decided to shack up with my German boyfriend (the one who, in very veiled terms, tried to tell me that his grandmother had been a Nazi by casually revealing that she had lived for many years in Argentina following the war, and "wasn't very nice") rather than going to synagogue on Rosh Hashanah, I experienced one of the worst years of my life. So now, I look forward to this holiday every year, and I must say, that it has turned into my favorite Jewish holiday.

Rosh Hashanah marks the start of the new year, and it is one where newness and sweetness are supposed to be everywhere your senses take you. Wear new clothes, eat apples dipped in honey to signify a sweet year, listen to the sound of the shofar to herald the start of something entirely new. There are kisses and well wishing for everyone you meet (even if it's just once a year) at the service.

I felt so centered this year during all the prayers and I truly understood that something new was beginning. I had all the sensory experiences that absolutely put me in the right state of mind. I loved up on my nieces and nephew. I ate my sister in law's wonderful cooking. I had my mom's inimitable brisket. I sang bright and clear during the service. My mother and I received an aliyah (an honor) to open the ark before the blowing of the shofar. Normally I get shy to go up to the bimah, but this year, I marched right up there, opened the ark and I was happy to do it.

It made me feel that I am utterly in the right time and place, something I haven't felt lately with all the changes in my job, and the daily negotiations with my shifty teeth. Something has finally rooted--quite literally--and all the worrying I've been doing for the past few months seems to be unimportant and utterly unnecessary when compared with this newly firm--and affirmed sensation. The gift of stillness over the course of this holiday was all I needed to simply find my balance and my bearings.

Goodness, can the teeth be far behind?