Hair and Hot Lava

This was the note from the universe that arrived in my mailbox today:

Any attempt to measure one's progress in life with an assessment of their present physical surroundings or even a panoramic glance at their life and times to date is just plain "whacked." The reason being is that each journey, kind of like a haircut, should never be fully appraised until it's complete. Otherwise, one might mistake a miracle-in-the-making for a setback, loss or "the wet look."

Oh how much sense this makes. A few posts back, I mentioned that my hair, recently cut, was utterly badass and Joan-Jett-ish. Now, it has grown in and though still nice, it's rapidly approaching a flattened version of "The Rachel" (as in from Friends) that was so popular in the mid-90s. Any interpretations of what that might mean, feel free to offer. But be kind.

As a New Yorker, I think I'm utterly amazed by how things happen incrementally. I am used to a quick pace, and perhaps I am more comfortable with a quick pace. That way, I can mash more into my day: meet more friends, have more conversation, more subway rides, accomplish more, see more, do more and plainly, have more stimulus. I'm not necessarily saying that his this best, I'm just saying I'm used to it.

So when I have to adhere to the natural laws, tap into the substance that turns a caterpillar into a butterfly, that makes a seed ever so slowly snake up through the soil and bloom, I am a bit confounded. I imagine that this substance boils hot as lava, but in such a tiny space, it cannot be seen or felt by us humans. The luxury of time, the need for patience is something so new, so radical (or so ancient and so radical) that I am not sure how to respond. I think like all people, we initally poke at it, push it away, shatter the mirror and say "this couldn't possibly be a reflection of me."

And yet, maybe that's what this process is all about. We put things in our path that teach us the lessons we need to learn. One of my favorite Buddhist maxims is "when the student is ready, the teacher will apear." Maybe I need this experience of getting back in touch with that cosmic goo that makes things grow, improve, and find their rightful place--dare I say destiny. And if that means slowing down in order to feel its heat, then so be it.

I have a feeling that all love affairs start with this same hot cosmic goo, too. Hmm...

Habit Forming

It has happened. I think I'm actually used to these things.

They say it takes six weeks to form a habit, so you can call me a late bloomer at 10. My teeth have shifted to a place where I can actually eat real food, and I have been doing so with relish. So much for the 10 pounds I lost when the braces were first put on! My second adjustment appointment came and went, and it just makes me love my orthodontist all the more. He said that he'll put on a stronger wire next time, which makes me wring my hands with glee. Yes! Bring on that tight wire! Makes this process over in one year! I will be invincible, join the circus and be one of those circus acrobats who twirl above the crowd attached by her teeth to a filament affixed to the Big Top. Kinda like this:

Can you imagine crossing Times Square like that in 1932? Faster than the subway!

Tooth Power, 2006

They (the man!) won't let me me embed this image, but in the theme of power through teeth, and the ability to transform the collective as one transforms, I thought you'd enjoy seeing this photo:

Aperture Foundation | Black Power, 2006 - Default Store View

Not exactly what I want my teeth to look like at the end of this journey, but man, the cojones on the person who did this! Respect!

All Together Now

I read this today:

"The more you can come to see everyone as yourself, the more you will be able to use everything around you to learn about who you are, and the more you will be able to transform yourself and be an occasion for everyone else's transformation. We are all sentient beings, and we are all capable of experiencing one another's salvation."

–Michael Wenger, from “Competing with the incomparable,” Tricycle

So in other words, all y'all need braces! Transform yourselves along with me! Salvation can be achieved through the teeth!

Et tu, Ugly Betty?

It was inevitable, I suppose. When ratings go south, pretty up some broads. Blow out the hair. Get a push up bra. Add some blush and gloss. And for God's sake get rid of those braces.

So yes, it's happening. Ugly Betty is getting her braces off. The Wall Street Journal says so. I can't help but feeling a little betrayed. Betty made braces part of the cultural lexicon, representing us diamonds in the rough. Those of us still in the cocoon. And I'm not ready for her to come out yet! I need some sisterhood here!

The powers that be still can't decide if the braces will be entirely off: the article tells of a rather cruel plot line where Betty finally gets them removed and two steps outside of the orthodontist's office, she trips and hits her teeth, requiring them to be put back on ASAP. (Am I evil because I'm secretly rooting for this?)

Click here for the pic. The corporate giant that is ABC won't let me embed it:

http://abc.go.com/shows/ugly-betty/photos/309274/309323

What's funny is that the prettified version of UB kinda looks like me now! Whaddya think?

Dancing in the Streets

This was so grinworthy that it made me cry. In the most beautiful way.

This was such a delightful reminder that our day to day troubles are small. The world is so big and lovely, and so easily, joyfully accessible. Thanks, Matt. I needed that.

Coffee Talk

This is how I feel today:

I do love Cafe Grumpy, and usually this little bean logo never fails to make me smirk, (and the decaf cappuccinos are like buttah, as Linda Richmond would say...) but man, I can't take any more shrimps on the barbie. I swear. Nothing at all is going right, so just stop the world, I want to get off.

I am trying to inhabit this:

Our lives, like the ocean, constantly change, and we will naturally face great storms and dreary lulls...An ocean swimmer is loose and flows with the current and moves through the tide. When tossed upside-down in the surf, unable to discern which way is up and which is down, the natural swimmer just lets go, breathing out, and follows the bubbles to the surface.

–Sensei Pat Enkyo O'Hara, from “Like a Dragon in Water,” Tricycle

I am making a great effort to be like swimmer, but honestly, I'm just getting farklepmt in the process. So, talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. (The chick pea is neither chick, nor pea. Discuss.)

At least I've got it better than this little bean. Forget braces--it looks like he has no teeth at all!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I swear, it's always something new with these teeth. They actually hurt today, and I don't understand why. People keep telling me that they see a difference--my teeth look straighter, my chin looks straighter, my whole face looks thinner. I would like to believe these observations, but I can't yet see it myself. I do know that things are moving. I can feel it, but I can't quite chart it yet. I'm Lewis and Clarking all over myself, but haven't yet found my Sacajawea who can help me make sense of it all.

Since I can't show you anything too different about my chompers, I figured that there's nothing more fun than making fun of a celebrity. So here goes:

http://allieiswired.com/archives/2009/06/celebrities-who-fixed-their-teeth/

Some of these examples are not that big a deal. But man! Catherine Zeta Jones! Celine Dion! Nicolas Cage! Elliott Yamin! (Looks like he fixed more than just his teeth!) Such drastic changes. It gives new meaning to "self improvement." More like reinvention. I always suspected that some actors have trouble with their centers of identity and that's why they need to inhabit characters--because they cannot firmly root themselves in who they are. (I've noticed this same curiosity about therapists and psychologists.) I went on a date with an actor once and asked him about this idea. He got insulted and took it very personally when I brought this up, when really I just wanted his opinion. The tenor of our date changed dramatically and I knew that it was going to be our first and last outing. So imagine my surprise when he gave me one hell of a kiss as we parted--and then not so surprisingly never called again.

I think perhaps that was his way of answering my question.

National Noodle Day

My friend Jen gave me a great honor. She told me that she used my blog last week in her classroom at Brooklyn College. This is from an email she wrote me today, when I asked her to explain:

Your blog/my class: A couple of weeks ago the memoirs my classes read were an excerpt from "Autobiography of a Face" by Lucy Grealy and "My Face" by Robert Benchley. I gave them a writing exercise to write their own autobiography of a body part, and since both pieces we read were face-based, I wanted to give them some other examples.(And, since Grealy's memoir is pretty heavy, some lighter examples. Plus, teeth are not necessarily the first thing you might thing of, so it gave them other ideas to consider.) Your blog was the perfect thing to bring up--you're writing an autobiography of your teeth, and you use your teeth to examine all kinds of other topics, ideas, and identities.

I had no idea my blog was so intellectually potent. Imagine these people in the same sentence, Lucy Greely, Robert Benchley and me. Since Jen is now my unofficial writing coach, maybe this is a sign that my novel will actually get written.

You may not know it, but today is the most auspicious National Noodle Day. I am charmed by this for a few reasons:

1) An old boyfriend used to call me Noodle as a term of endearment, and I did love this. It encompassed so much--my love of food, our many trips to Chinatown, and how I was so cozy that I was as relaxed as a noodle.

2) Noodles are actually a food I can eat with these braces, not "al dente" of course, which literally translated means "to the tooth." No, these "tooths" cannot take the Italian treatment, even if they were bathed lovingly in gorgeous olive oil and roasted garlic. Even if.

3) The fact that noodles and pasta are not the same thing. Vermicelli is pasta. Fettucini is pasta. Bow ties and ziti are noodles. Ramen are noodles. Spaghetti is the bridge between pasta and noodles. You can use your noodle. You can't use your pasta. Mac and cheese is always a noodle dish, even if, as on Ina Garten's The Barefoot Contessa show the other day, she made it with truffled sherried mushrooms. (Oh man, I would so pop a bracket for that!)

4) This quote: "A little more of the possible was every instant made real; the present stood still and drew into itself the future, as a man might suck forever at an unending piece of macaroni." --Aldous Huxley

In honor of National Noodle Day, I would like to share one of my treasured noodle dishes. Two years ago I made Tuna Bolognese for my dear friends on New Year's eve. It was one of the my most magical New Year's and I think that's why this tasted so good. The recipe is based on one from Dave Pasternack's The Young Man & The Sea (A beautiful book, I might add.) This is my version of the recipe, rather altered, but I was happy to have his lovely book as a guide.

Ingredients:
One large can of Italian tuna
A good drizzle of olive oil.
1 onion, diced 4 cloves garlic, crushed
One bottle of red wine (oh, yes!)
1 bay leaf
A few dashes of good cinnamon
1 tsp. red pepper flakes
1 28-oz can of whole peeled tomatoes and their juice
Sea Salt
Black pepper
1 pound pasta (He likes rigatoni, I did spaghetti. If you're going to celebrate Noodle Day, use the spaghetti or noodle of your choice as specified above. Wagon wheels are noodles according to my unscientific classification, and that might go nicely too.)

Heat the oil over medium flame. Add onion and garlic and cook until translucent, 3-4 minutes. Add the tuna and cook stirring with a fork until all juices are dry, about 7-10 minutes. Add the whole bottle of wine (except for the bits that you've already sipped), bay leaf, red pepper, cinnamon and cook until dry, about 15 minutes. Add tomatoes, crushing them by hand, their juice, and 1/2 cup water. Season with 1 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp pepper. Simmer uncovered for 1 1/2 hours. (I did it for longer, much longer--about 4.) The sauce should be moist, but not wet.

Discard the bay leaf. Cook the pasta and divide it into serving bowls. Top with sauce and dollop with marscapone. As a variation, you can use goat cheese, and add some parmesan, which I did and both were luscious. This sauce was even better the next day if you let it sit.

Pair with good wine, good friends, and New Year's fireworks!

Eat Mangoes Naked

I picked up Eat Mangoes Naked, because really, who can resist a title like that? There's this great part where the author says that she'd like to write a letter to the concept of change, and that it would go something like this:

Dear Change,

I've previously been very afraid of you. You weren't welcome in my home, and I spoke badly about you behind your back. I resisted you, avoided you and made fun of you. I want to change our relationship. I want to learn to cultivate and respect you, dance with you and take you out to dinner. Let's travel together! Will you be my everlasting friend?

Love,

Susan

I like this, even if I'm not exactly living it yet.

But I do a have a mango in the fridge...

Ah, James Brown

James Brown said, "Hair is the first thing. And teeth the second. Hair and teeth. A man got those two things, he's got it all."

Thanks to Ali and my three hours (!) last night at Astor Place, I've got good hair. I've been told I look very Joan Jett. No complaints there! (Ali knows my not-so-secret joy in looking like a badass.)

And the teeth--well, that's getting there. We're at 7 weeks now. I think about all the things that get accomplished in 7 weeks. They say it takes 6 to form a habit, so I should be used to these suckers by now. Tree shrews apparently have a 7 week gestation period. And according to Joan Matthews Larson, it only takes 7 weeks to get sober. Wrigley Field was built in 7 weeks (in 1914!) and the Yiddish musical comedy classic "Yidl Mitn Fidl" ("Yiddle With a Fiddle") starring Molly Picon was made in 7 weeks in 1935.

So James, if a man's got it all with hair and teeth, what's a woman got with hair and braces?