Thanks Miss K!
I have a friend from South Carolina who has all of these great Southernisms that she uses to very eloquently express herself. One of my favorites--which she exclaims whenever she is outraged or fed up--is "Well that just torques my jaw!" I thought this was downright quaint, and wonderfully descriptive. However, it takes on a whole new meaning now that quite literally my jaw is in a perpetual state of torque.
Case in point: This morning, I went back to the orthodontist yet AGAIN. It was feeling too darn tight on the left side of my face after they fixed the wire, and I couldn't imagine that this was right. So I went to see my orthodontist, a dapper man with lovely teeth (of course) an open face, salt and pepper hair, and and an expensive, luxurious silk tie always around his neck. Today it was a white tie with a floral pattern, one that was very popular among the glitterati a few years ago.
He explained that my teeth are constantly moving, and this is why the teeth don't meet properly. He said it's ok if they feel lopsided, because I have a "very unusual crossbite" which has to be fixed. He said that it's a funny situation, but that "you're funnier than most."
A statement like that should have made me shake my fist at the sky and rue my mouth, but really, my doctor is a most benevolent man, and his good-natured way of saying this made me feel oddly proud that my teeth had amused him.
Teeth as court jesters! Imagine that! I'll rent them out to dental conventions! I'll put them on trading cards! Next stop: the Coney Island freak show! There's millions to be made with these puppies!
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